2 Samuel 13:1-22 The Authority to Lead Rest Solely On Our Moral Fibre
2 Samuel 13:1-22
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend- his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea. 4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” 7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him. 8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. 9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left.
10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” 12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. 15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. 16 “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. 17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!”
18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. 19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. 20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.
21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. 22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.
Background
This juncture begins a story of woes that will dog and cascade through the royal household throughout the remainder of 2 Samuel. Amnon’s violation of Tamar reveals the weakness of David’s moral authority that eventually leads to Amnon’s untimely death. David’s own sexual and violent aberration begin to ripple painfully through the royal family as the story unfolds in domestic violence and civil war. Today’s passage teaches us to remain impartial in maintaining law and order no matter whom we are dealing with. The leader’s credibility and authority rest not on titles, but solely on the concrete foundation of his moral fibre.
Observation
I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister – It is apparent what Amnon is occupied with is not love but lust. His particular obsession borders on demonic influence: Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill, for he is overcome to the point of being dysfunctional. The pattern of Amnon’s behavior uncannily echoes David’s own sexual aberration. While Amnon is exploring conventional approaches in his efforts to bed Tamar, his heart is ripe to embrace more sinister devices. As we know it, it does not take much to enlighten Amnon’s eyes to the world of sexual violence. Jonadab’s suggestion facilitates the manifestation of dark passions hidden within. Unmoved by Tamar’s repeated call for sobriety: Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. … And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. And despite her offer to fulfill his desire in the context of lawful marriage, Amnon rapes Tamar unperturbed by the deadly consequences that ensue.
Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate – Self-gratification is overcome by the feeling of revulsion as Amnon acts with utmost coldness and cruelty. When Tamar suggests at legitimizing the marriage in order to cover shame, he throws her out without the slightest consideration. Tamar goes into mourning and Absalom, being inwardly enraged counseled Tamar into accepting this irreversible violation as philosophically as she could and casually hints at an eventual resolution: Don’t you worry about it.
When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry – David, furious at the incident does nothing to rectify it. His inadequate response is perhaps blunted by his own failings with Bathsheba as he is in no position to reprimand his son. If David had exerted himself appropriately, he would have continued to maintain order and peace within his house. And that would have prevented Absalom from taking justice into his own hands that subsequently plunges the nation into civil war.
Truth
1. Your personal demons will either take you, or you will decide to take them. It’s up to you. For many in the height of their career were brought down by their own folly, as they could no longer control their personal demons. I personally witnessed an incident in a company, a global telecommunications firm that I worked for. In one regional function that drew Asia Pacific offices to its regional headquarters in Hong Kong, the Asia director having soiled his clothing went up to his room to change. After a while, he reappeared distinctly in his bathrobe with nothing underneath. Nobody knew what happened to him after that, except that he was promptly called back to the London office and dismissed. Shortly after, rumors and stories of his sexual exploits and office harassments started pouring in. A man at the height of his career is taken by the personal demons that he thought he could control. Amnon is overcome by his personal demons of lust and violence that got the better of him.
Therefore, believers must be aware of their own weaknesses and be resolute in taking them down. Otherwise, the demons will surface unannounced at the opportune time in order to cause maximum damage.
2. Your moral fibre contributes to your resolve to righteous leadership. Leaders who lack the moral fibre will possess little political will to lead convincingly. Unless leaders walk the talk, they have no reason to demand others do the same. David, who had his scandalous behavior with Bathsheba plastered all over the courts, will find his call for order and godliness trifle and hollow. Hence, he could not find within himself the moral resolve to castigate his son. After all, like father, like son.
As believers function in various positions of authority in the family, church, company or community, we must undergird our leadership by reinforcing our moral fibre. The ability to influence others in the way of righteousness must rest on the concrete foundation of our moral fibre. A person addicted to sex and lust will not be able to counsel others in their family life. A person drawn to the love of money has disqualified himself from the task of teaching others about empathy. A person who is constantly occupied with the cares of life will most certainly fail as a teacher and disciple maker.
3. Righteous leadership starts with impartial and unbiased application of the law first to our own family members then to others. I have come across many who could lead with great authority but fumble when it comes to dealing with his own family members; they could not set familial relationships aside in order to do the right thing. Hence, their leadership appears ridden with double standards that soon lead to sentiments of injustice, biasness and the corrosion of power. People will not submit themselves to leaders who could not deal impartially, who unreasonably subject the organization to the personal agenda of their family members. David could not deal with Amnon with the same yardstick as he dealt with those who showed disrespect towards Saul. Hence, David gets no respect from Absalom who later seeks to overthrow him. Our true test of righteousness and impartiality will be seen in how we deal with people whom we bestow a special position in our hearts. Amnon is the crown prince whom David loves, whom he also fails to reign in when impartial exertion of his authority is sorely necessarily.
Application
1. Do you exhibit biasness in your judgment when your own child fights with another? Do you place your beloved in an exclusive position thus depriving others of fair competition? As leader of your organization, you must be impartial and do what is fair and just for all.
2. Are you used to entertaining your private addictions while purporting to be free from it? The anointing of God will not rest on one who is deceptive in portraying themselves to the world. However, God will exalt one who is humble in confessing his sins and who works to conform himself to the likeness of Christ.
3. Do you look pass certain sins in your life and consider them as trivial and inconsequential? The sins cause what appear like insignificant lapses of your conscience, will soon swell up and destroy you. An occasional “research” on pornography sites will fire up your passions towards adultery leading to the total destruction of your career and family. A harmless dipping of the hand into the lottery will soon lead to an intractable gambling addiction. We must take our personal demons down immediately, les they take us down the slippery slope to hell.
Dear Lord, I reject all addictions that hinder my walk with you. I rebuke the demons of materialism, cares of life, sexual and nicotine addition. Fill me with your Spirit and cause me to live freely and abundantly. Cause me to fear you, to do what is right and I will not be intimated by others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.