Genesis 2:18-25 God will in His time fulfil your need for companionship
Genesis 2:18-25 God will in His time fulfil your need for companionship
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Background
The creation of the world turns out perfect with God’s sevenfold commendation of His work: “and God saw that it was (very) good”. However, not all is bliss as divine observation discovered a profound sense of loneliness in the man whom God has appointed as the supreme regent of the earth. In today’s devotion, we learn that God recognises our need for companionship and is actively preparing for us a community through which we can connect and live abundantly. God knows perfectly and profoundly what you desire, and He will in His time fulfil your need for companionship.
Observation
It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.
God’s keen observation of man’s need for companionship (before it becomes apparent) causes Him to devise a solution for him. However, note the dissonance: “It is not good…”, against the sevenfold refrain of “and God saw that it was (very) good”. God recognises man’s need for a helper that is “suitable” for him. The “helper suitable for him” should not be restricted to the context of marriage but in the broader sense of relationships and community. What does “suitability” entails? The compound phrase “suitable for him” in the Hebrew language literally means “like opposite him”. Hence, the word “suitable” carries the notion of complementarity rather than being “like him”. The helper by divine design is made to be unlike him, which is what really makes the helper truly effective. Otherwise, the man’s strength is adequate by itself. As opposed to the reality that conflicts arise because people differ in opinions and cultural background. Here, we see that the helper’s quality of being “unlike him” is key to filling the void of man’s loneliness.
The Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.
Notice God did not immediately create a helper for Adam to fill his need for companionship but brings every animal before him to be named. In spite of man’s superiority to the creatures (as demonstrated by his naming them), no suitable companion can be found that he can connect with at a spiritual, and psychosomatic level. God’s deliberate act (of gathering the animals for naming) precipitates man’s acknowledgment of his existential need for a helper who is not inferior to him but equal.
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
The act of causing a deep sleep to fall upon the man (throughout the whole process) unmistakably demonstrates God’s unilateral and comprehensive decision in determining the physical and psychological makeup of the helper. The man’s passivity in the creation of the woman attests to God’s perfect knowledge of man’s needs and what is suitable for him. Here, by extracting a rib from Adam, the default mode of human procreation begins; for out of the spiritual and physical substance of the man, the second human being is formed.
The man’s spontaneous song aptly describes his ecstasy at the sight of his new found bride. The expression “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” speaks of kinship, bonding and intimacy that one would normally ascribe to a blood relative. Man’s headship over the family is explicitly demonstrated in the naming of his wife.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife.
“For this reason…” as pertaining to marriage, the man’s priorities changes as he directs his focal obligation from his parents to his wife. In traditional and eastern societies like Israel where honouring parents is given the highest place (next to honouring God), this command to “leave” them is startling.
“… and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” puts the marriage covenant on equal footing as blood relations, which are one’s flesh and bone; the man and wife become related to each other as brother and sister. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 illustrates this principle following divorce or the death of one party; the woman remains a sister to her husband’s brothers, a daughter to her father-in-law.
“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” points to the purity of the man and the woman as that of little children; they were not “disconcerted” as they did not possess propensity for sin. Before eating the forbidden fruit, they have yet tasted the pleasure of darkness and have no knowledge of it. Hence, because their hearts are untainted, they see everything as pure and permissible. And they only know (as an express command of God) that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is forbidden. Titus 1:15 says, “To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” Darkness has no hold on those who are pure at heart. Similarly, no good thing can come from those with defiled and corrupted conscience.
Truth
It is a blessing to have friends or a spouse who is every bit unlike you.
God has so determined that a suitable helper to Adam will be one who is physically and psychologically unlike him. This principle of complementarity and interdependency is the key to finding companionship and experiencing abundant living. If most people in the family or church is like us, the world will be an unproductive and boring place. Even at the work place or the church, it is important to actively integrate people of diverse backgrounds, cultures and personalities and talents. By establishing foundations and structures based on truths and principles, we encourage people to express their peculiarities and diversities in a constructive manner for the good of all.
What is puzzling is that most people insist that others see things their way and to agree with them. They have decided that the whole world should buy into their worldview and be totally consumed by their brand of ethos and vision. A friendly advice to all who are looking for a life partner: learn to appreciate things that are different, be flexible and outgoing. Organisations who are looking to grow and adapt to a changing environment must learn to broaden their perspectives and spectrum of what is deemed acceptable company culture.
Therefore, any church or organisation will do well to anchor themselves around truths and principles as opposed to preferences dictated by one person. By basing our organisational culture on the truths and principles, we establish objectivity and clarity within the workforce. This empowers people to express their energy and passion in a fearless and constructive manner.
God knows perfectly what you desire and need, and He will in His time fulfil your need for companionship.
God did not first seek out a list of preferences from Adam before He proceeds to create the woman. He gets Adam out of the way by knocking him out. Neither did God keep Adam looking, He brought her to the man after she is formed. Therefore, we must believe that God is not only actively predestining and preparing our future spouse, He is able to in His time bring him/her to your attention. One other point worthy of mention: God, having noticed Adam’s need for companionship, did not immediately proceed to create the woman. He waited until an opportune time, as evident by bringing the animals to Adam for naming. Therefore, it is important to understand that timing and readiness is the essence to success. It is of paramount importance that we must be hitched with the right person as opposed to the person you are most attracted to.
Therefore, do not be led by chemistry or the fear of being left on the shelf. For such decisions of supreme importance, it is better to err on the side of prudence by repeatedly asking the question: do I see myself waking up to him/her everyday, spending much time together and being satisfied about it? Do I see myself serving God with him/her while expanding into the nations and to wherever God may lead? Having said that, while waiting for the right person to appear, we must also do our part to become that right person.
Once you have tasted the pleasures of darkness, it becomes a lifelong battle against it.
The man and the woman are not ashamed even though naked they may be. Before they eat of the forbidden tree, they possess the ability to shield themselves from the suggestions of the evil one because evil cannot find within them a receptor for any of his devices. Therefore, the best defence against any vices is to stay away from the mere suggestion of it. In doing so, you do not give the devil so much as a foothold or a glimpse into the intricacies of your life.
Some people harbour a complacency, thinking they are well able to handle the temptation because they do not yet possess an affinity towards it. However, all that will change at the initial tasting of it; what was abhorable is now acceptable, the taboo has become the familiar, as something strangely foreign is planted within. You discover that you are no longer the same; once familiarly pure and innocent, you have become a stranger.
Nevertheless, the sacrifice of Christ has crucified the darkness and the sinful instincts of our flesh on the cross (see Galatians 2:20). The power of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the power of sin and death (see Romans 8:2). Believers now have the power and authority to rebuke the sinful nature and drive out the spirits behind them. In doing so, believers can restore within them the innocence and purity that was once lost.
Application
Are you accustomed to reacting to the commends of the others and rattling off the cuff? You can grow and learn much by changing the way you interact with others. By being quick to listen and slow to speak, we grace ourselves with the wisdom of those who are radically different from us.
If you are single and waiting for God’s divine appointment, you will do well to make two lists:
– a list consisting of the godly traits that you wish to see in your spouse.
– a list consisting of qualities (pertaining to personality) that are radically different from you.
With reference to the first list, how much do you see yourself in the traits that you have listed? With reference to the second list, would you be open to accept that person as a prospective spouse?
Dear Lord, mold me to be that person that others would call a good helper. I believe that you will in your time bring to me a helper that is suitable for me. Use me to honour diversity, promote creativity and uphold excellence in my church and organisation. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.