How to heal the wounds of betrayal?

People with good intentions are hard to come by. They do all they can to help others. They invest their time and energy towards worthy causes. However their efforts are often mired by evil men who take advantage of their work of love. Such phenomenon happen ever so often in the workplace and even in Christian organizations leaving many wounded and crippled in their path. Wounds of the flesh are visible and will most certainly heal on their own. But the wounds of the heart are invisible that often fester and cripple the person. The devil uses his agents dressed in sheep’s clothing to cripple the agents of light by wounding their hearts. I want to encourage believers to place the burden of justice on God and not to let anything stop you from moving forward. Today, we will learn from David how he healed his wounds by letting go of the past while moving towards the future. David did two things:

a.  He kept moving forward towards his calling as king of the new Israel. 

David did not turn back to demand justice from Saul nor did he try to divide Saul’s kingdom. He moved on supposing Saul’s evil act as part of God’s sovereign plan to establish a new dynasty under him. David was a great king, a man after God’s own heart but not without going through the crucible of betrayal. He risked his life fighting countless battles for Saul. Instead of being grateful, Saul felt threatened by David’s prowess and popularity. Thus, he mustered his army and set out to kill David.

One fateful day, Saul heard that David was in the wilderness of Engedi and he immediately set out with 3000 soldiers after David. By God’s providence, Saul wandered into a cave to relieve himself, unaware that David and his men were harboring inside. David was encouraged by his men to harm Saul but resisted the temptation to do so. He allowed Saul to leave the cave and when he was at a safe distance, David called out to Saul,

May the Lord judge between you and me, and may the Lord avenge me on you; but my hand shall not be against you. As the proverb of the ancients says, ‘Out of the wicked comes forth wickedness’; but my hand shall not be against you. 1 Samuel 24:12-13

David laid the burden of justice squarely on God and focused on moving forward, not being distracted by bitterness or injustice. David focused all his energy on gathering and training the 300 men who came to him. They sustained themselves by raiding the tribes that were unfriendly to Israel. David, unfazed by Saul’s threats set his face towards the call of building a new Israel. A person who keeps looking forward will not be easily distracted by the emotions of injustice and bitterness. David understood that his responsibility was to build a new Israel and that God would vindicate him. David said to Saul, “…may the Lord avenge me on you; but my hand shall not be against you.” Therefore, David’s heart was never bound nor restrained by thoughts of revenge or negative circumstances, for he was always lunging forward as long as there was an open path.

b.  He kept baring his emotional wounds before God allowing God to heal him. 

David constantly bared his heart before God asking God to heal and vindicate him. However, he would neither bare his wounds before men nor speak about them. As written in the psalms, David sought God’s empathy for the betrayals and abandonments that so often accompanied him. David said,

6 They visit me as if they were my friends,
but all the while they gather gossip,
and when they leave, they spread it everywhere.
7 All who hate me whisper about me,
imagining the worst.
8 “He has some fatal disease,” they say.
“He will never get out of that bed!”
9 Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely,
the one who shared my food, has turned against me.
10 Lord, have mercy on me.
Make me well again, so I can pay them back. Psalm 41:6-10

David cried out to God, “Make me well again.” He wanted God to take away the bondage of bitterness and emotions of injustice. Jesus was the target of betrayal during his days in the flesh. The people he healed and discipled betrayed him. Thus he was well acquainted with the disappointments and traumas of betrayal. Because of his wounds, he is able to identify with our pain and empathize with us. The empathy of men may not do much for us, for who can understand us completely except God. Hence, only Jesus can bring total empathy as one who has been betrayed and broken as we are.

Today, as we lay our hearts bare before Jesus, we allow His Spirit to give us insight to the hurtful event and cause us to embrace it as something necessary to help us accomplish our call. In the process, he heals us and restores us towards a new beginning.

Dear Lord, you understand me perfectly, and how my hurts have been affecting me. I am willing to bare my heart to you without reservation. Do a work of healing and restoration as I release my unforgiveness and bitterness to the Spirit. I no longer require any debt to be paid nor do I require the punishment of the one who hurt me. I have made my decision to pursue my calling and never to recall the moments of hurt. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.